The Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through Sloanville
Not a creature was stirring, 'cept a bad guy named Bill; As his prisoner I was
hung by the chimney with care, really hoping the cavalry soon would be there ...
partners were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of money danced in
their head; And Bill in his sweater, and I in my cuffs, Had just settled down
for another dust up.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, Bill
dropped me to go see what was the matter. Onto to my feet I got in a flash, With
my shirt torn up and my shoulder a gash.
Through the window I could see
the new fallen snow The lamplight gave shape to the objects below, When what to
my swollen eyes should appear, But Paul with eight figures who weren't reindeer.
a scowling glare, that gave not a blink or a flick, I knew he would have me out
of this quick. Faster than lightening his people they came, and he bellowed, and
shouted, and called them by name.
"Now Kermit!, Now Strenlich!, Now Blake
and Brodrick! On, TJ, on Jody, on Skellany and Chen! Cover that porch! get over
that wall! Now places and positions; and good luck to you all!"
the guards got a lesson as a frog taught him to fly, he was no longer an obstacle
once he took to the sky. So up to the house and my rescue they flew, All fully
armed, and ill-tempered too.
And then in a twinkle I heard the back door
the bashing and crashing as it went to the floor. As I drew in breath and tried
to look 'round The group all came in in a bound.
They were dressed all
in black from their head to their feet. Except for Kermit, who thought dark green
real neat. Bill made an effort but was soon on his back, and being hauled out
like an old burlap sack
Her eyes how they sparkled as I was cut lose by
Mary! Broderick's cold made his nose like a cherry. They'll never let me hear
the end of this I know! Poor Jody must have been worried because her face was
The chief, he's glaring and clenching his teeth, there's a leaf
on his jacket where he was hit by a wreath; I put a smile on my face trying to
ignore my sore belly, I managed to get up, but my legs were like jelly.
Santa came in, a rather tall elf I laughed when I saw him, inspire of myself;
A wink of his eye and a shake of his head, his grumble informed me I had nothing
He spoke not a word, but gave me a hug, And said to call mom
who was pacing the rug, Then standing back he got a look at my clothes, And commented
that I had broken my nose.
He led me to his car, I breathed with a whistle,
and said he would have me to the doc like a missile. I heard him call to the team
as he buckled me in tight, "A merry Christmas to all and have a good night."
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