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This is a chat fic that was done in The writer's nook sometime ago. The usual disclaimers apply in that I don not own these characters, they are owned by Petfly. A big thank you goes to Lila who provided the starting image of Jim in a handstand, And Carole who's comments as it was written made it a lot better. As usual another thank you goes out to TAE for beta reading .
Blair Sandburg, anthropology grad student, police consultant, and Guide to the Sentinel of the great city, entered the loft that he shared with the aforementioned sentinel, Senior police detective, and all around good guy (as long as you weren't a threat to his city or guide), James Ellison.
"Jim, I'm home," Blair called out, hanging up his coat and backpack and placing his shoes on the mud mat in accordance with Rules 23 through 25. He knew Jim was home because of his truck being out front.
"How was your day, honey?" Came a reply in falsetto followed by a grunt.
"I'm thinking of doing a paper comparing departmental meetings to Playgrounds with a limited number of toys, with professors as spoiled whiny children on the playground, if that tells you anything," Blair replied, turning to his friend.
"Simon would be a good resource for validation that it isn't just departmental meetings. He's made the same observation about city meetings," Jim grinned; but it looked like a frown from Blair's viewpoint.
"Um, Jim is there a reason you are doing a handstand in the living room?" Blair laughed at the sight of his older and upside down friend while he got a beer from the fridge.
"It's part of the Yoga I learned in the military," Jim frowned his refusal to Blair's offer to bring him a beer as well
"I didn`t know you learned Yoga in the army. I didn`t even know they taught it there," The longhaired man was pleasantly surprised. Naomi would love hearing this!
"Well, actually, I jarred my back once and there was this woman, a Yoga instructor, she taught me some exercises to loosen the muscles up. She was very helpful." Jim grinned.
"So, basically, you learned yoga in order to impress this woman. That I can believe. And you call me a table leg!" Blair snickered at the thought of his large friend tying himself in knots to impress a woman.
"Hey, it worked! We went out for a little over a year," the older man grinned back.
"Aren't you getting kind of a head rush staying like that?" Blair asked looking at the flushing Sentinel.
"I would say that I've fallen and can't get up, but I didn't fall," the detective wasn't smiling, now.
"Oh, man! You mean you can't get down? When were you going to ask for help?" Blair groused as he rushed over to his partner.
"I just did," Jim growled.
"Okay, let's see here. There has to be a way to get you down." Blair began looking around; grateful when he saw that the coffee table had been moved so Jim at least would have room to get down without landing on anything.
"I think I've got it here! Just hold on, man. I'm going to try and roll you over me and onto the floor." Blair explained.
"You're what???" Jim roared, not certain that he liked the sound of this, his Guide could get hurt.
"Just trust me," Blair smiled, trying to reassure his friend.
"I feel so much better about this, now," Jim moaned as he thought about what had followed that sentence in the past when the younger man had uttered it. Although Jim had to admit that the solution usually also followed it.
"Just think of it as a controlled tackle," Blair continued, as he grabbed Jim's hips, threw his shoulders under the older man's knees, and proceeded to try and throw Jim over him.
Simon banks couldn't believe that he actually go to the door before it opened this time. Since no one answered when he knocked, he just let himself in to drop off the books his son Daryl had borrowed from Blair.
"SANDBURG! What the hell are you doing?" Simon bellowed as his unlit cigar hit the floor.
"Simon, what are you doing here?" The consultant asked, as Jim fell forward, landing on the younger man and knocking them both to the floor.
"Jim was just showing me some of the Yoga battle tactics he learned in the rangers. You put yourself in a handstand pretend you're a tree, and then fall on your unsuspecting enemy as he passes you. I can assure you that it works very well." Blair wheezed as he tried to force air into his lungs.
"Yoga attacks? Jim learned Yoga battle tactics in the Army?" Simon asked, totally confused. Of course with Blair involved it was bound to be confusing, He headed over to assess the damage to his best and favorite team.
"Okay, fine Simon. To be perfectly honest Jim was showing me how he and this Yoga instructor woman he was dating in the Army use to do this..." A hand reached up and muzzled the graduate student before the sentence was ever finished.
"Simon, if you could just help me on to the couch, I would really appreciate it." A familiar voice sounded from the tangle of limbs
"I don't know which is scarier, Jim, the Yoga battle moves, or you dating a Yoga instructor." Simon groused as he helped the senior detective to the couch.
"Oh, definitely the Yoga instructor," Blair chimed in helpfully. "We all know how Jim's women are. She was probably an assassin who killed people by tying them up in knots," the younger man snickered as he headed into the kitchen for an ice pack to put on Jim's back.
"That wasn't funny, Sandburg!" Jim called over the couch.
"As my mother would have said `the pot's calling the kettle' Junior," Simon chuckled.
"What really happened here, anyway? Oh, Jim, did you get stuck trying to do a handstand again? You know that always happens! I would have thought you would have quit trying by now," Simon scolded his detective.
"I almost had it this time! I was on my way down when my back went out," Jim explained from the couch.
"Wait a minute, Jim has done this before?" Blair looked at the two men, totally confused.
"Yes, he has. He went to see this acrobat once; the handstand was the only part he couldn't do. He's been trying to do it ever since," The tall black Captain explained.
"The last time, Carolyn had to call me to come and get him down," Simon went on.
"I'm telling you guys, I almost got it!" Jim interrupted from the couch as Blair gently placed the ice pack on the muscles spasming in Jim's back.
"No more handstands!" The Guide and Captain spoke as one, glaring down at the sentinel.
"Fine. no more handstands, but I know I can do it!" Jim huffed from the couch.
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